With a New Year creeping up on me (and how did that happen so fast??) I started contemplating resolutions. What hadn’t I done that I wanted to do this past year?
I really need to do more writing.
And running or exercising.
And certainly have a few more date nights with my husband.
And maybe an extra night or two out with girlfriends.
And get the house organized again.
And begin cooking more regularly (you know, NOT chicken nuggets), something I used to do daily that has slowly worked its way down to…well, chicken nuggets.
And the kids are changing so much so fast, I want to be sure to be there for every minute of it.
And with a planned promotion at work this year, I want to be sure my boss knows I deserve it.
And there’s always the volunteer work, for Sigma Kappa, for the kindergarten classroom, for the two year old’s daycare, coaching soccer and the science fair…
This is my life. And this is ridiculous.
There is no way I can fit in everything I want to do, certainly not to the extent I want to do it.
And so I’ve thrown out the list of resolutions this year.
This year, I will simply to try to find balance.
I, along with every other mother in our generation, want to do too much. And for me, wishing I could be a stay at home mother means that I try to fit 5 days into the one day a week I’ve managed to take off work. I want to do it all.
And I can’t.
Somehow, I need to try to find a happy balance between who I am, the writing, the running, the friends, the volunteering, even the work, and what I need to be (namely, sane.)
In order to not go insane, I need downtime. I need sleep, a solid night of sleep; I can’t even tell you how many hours I *need* anymore, it’s been too long since I’ve gotten them all. I need friends; friends to laugh with and friends to cry with, friends to drink with and friends to have kids’ playdates with. I need time away from the kids, something I am always forgetting.
I don’t need to prove myself to my boss; I’m already getting the promotion, clearly I’ve deserve it. I don’t need to cook gourmet homemade meals every night; chicken nuggets will suffice just fine. I don’t need to volunteer for everything, and I certainly shouldn’t be volunteering simply because no one else has.
I don’t need to see every soccer game or every gymnastics practice. It will be okay if I run a few errands during tennis lessons. The kids will still feel loved if I call a friend during swim class.
I do not need a perfect house. Organization can wait. Painting can wait. Deep cleaning can wait.
I do need exercise, both for my health and the happiness it brings me, but perhaps I don’t need as much as I once got. I don’t need to train for another marathon. I don’t need to say yes to the second night of soccer simply because I like the team.
I don’t need to do everything, and I don’t need to be perfect. Let me repeat that: I don’t need to be perfect.
I have to remind myself that to have a happy life, I don’t need to do it all. I need to find the right balance between all those things that I wish I could do, and get rid of the things I don’t have time to do. You, my fantastic readers, may have noticed this is something I am very bad at. Something I will need to be reminded of constantly.
Maybe I can make myself a neon sign, and put it right next to my bed…
This post was written by Penney Blakely. Contact Penney at firstname.lastname@example.org
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