I love the scene in the original Willy Wonka when Veruca Salt’s golden ticket is found. Her mother says something very interesting. She says for children the thing that matters most is happiness. Happiness and harmony. Well, based on Veruca’s actions and attitudes, I have to humbly disagree with her mother. I’m afraid that there are many new parents who have this detrimental philosophy in their childrearing. Yeah, not in my house. I’ve been a parent for 18 1/2 years, and have learned a lot over that time. I’ve learned by watching older parents and asking them lots of questions. Wisdom, it’s a great thing!

 

When an entire home bends to please one person, there is no happiness or harmony for anyone else. A home needs cooperation between all its members. I have developed a strong dislike of going anywhere where people allow their children to act like heathens. I don’t care how old your little precious is, there are age appropriate behaviors for all children, and as a parent it is your responsibility to teach your child how to act. It’s not the grandparents, teachers, daycare workers, Sunday school teachers, or anyone else’s responsibility to be the primary teachers of your children. You are the parent and the rest of us partner with you. Parents are to model behaviors and act correctly as well. This means that you do not sit down to eat dinner at a restaurant at 9:30 at night when your child is cranky and about to pass out because it will make you happy. There’s a little thing called ‘getting it to go.’  Learn the phrase, live the phrase, love the phrase. Please don’t punish the rest of us who are trying to enjoy and digest our meal by making us listen to your screaming child.

 

I’ve noticed that there is a rash of children who are allowed to backtalk their parents, teachers and other adults. Well, not in our home. There is a hierarchy to all things. When you allow a child to be the ruler of your home, you are not teaching them that they will always answer to someone. You may think that your child’s behavior does not affect those around you, but let me assure you it does. It bothers us when little precious screams in Walmart at the top of his lungs because you won’t buy him that toy. It bothers us when little precious runs around a restaurant unchecked. It bothers us when little precious is disruptive in class because he/she doesn’t respect the authority of the teacher. Need I go on? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

 

If you really want happiness and harmony in your home, promote cooperation between all the members. A child who knows that the greater good of the family comes before their own wants is actually a well-adjusted child. They may not like it, but hey, that’s life. The job title mommy means I am training my child to eventually leave the nest and fly on their own. Everything my little chicks experience and learn has a purpose to help them to grow up to become loving spouses, strong parents, and productive citizens. When my children think of others before self, love unconditionally, and can be content with the little things in life, that’s when we have happiness and harmony.

 

Celebrating Life!

~ashley

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2 Responses to Happiness and Harmony

  1. Anne says:

    Amen! A similar moment happened this weekend at Disney…a father was carrying his screaming daughter over his shoulder through the park and as they passed my daughter and me she asked if I had ever had to do that to her. I said no…you threw one tantrum at 2 and I left the room because I wasn’t going to acknowledge that behavior ..it took you about two minutes to figure out this behavior wasn’t working before you came out and moved on. She laughed and and an older couple walking by chuckled their agreement! Lol

  2. Ashley Nance says:

    @Anne,
    That is because you are a good parent! :)

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